It has been a rough last 24 hours in the Wessley household. There have not been any catastrophic events. There have not been any major fights or issues. Nothing new or different in our household really. It has been one of those times where we have all been so strong for so long that eventually the pain and the struggles comes out.
Having two daughters makes for a pretty emotional household at times. I am sure my husband would definitely agree to that one! The girls and I are really not moody people… but we are females. One minute you want one thing while the next you want something different. Or suddenly you stopped liking the food you used to eat daily and why didn’t your husband (or dad) read your mind and know you did not like that food any longer?! Lol. We are females and females can be confusing!
My husband and I recently finished reading “The Purpose Driven Life”. I highly highly recommend everyone read this book.
Because it was such an incredible book we decided to read it aloud with our daughters. At the end of each chapter there is a bible verse and a question. While answering the question, our oldest daughter Britney began tearing up. She went on about how much she is motivated by her sister. Her sister battles Cystic Fibrosis and watching what she goes through on a daily basis makes Britney push through whatever she is faced with. It melted my heart to hear her talk about her sister in that way. She was expressing her LOVE for her sister. It also was another example of how when one family member struggles, it is really a family struggle.
I spent a large amount of time in our prayer room after that moment. I spent time reading the Bible, praying, crying, and just sitting in silence. There is so much power in quietness and in scripture. It is amazing when you just sit in your thoughts how calming it can be. The below picture is our prayer room. It is our spare bedroom’s closet. It is now completely filled with pieces of paper with prayers written on them. It is a powerful room.
Our youngest daughter, Natalie, who battles Cystic Fibrosis, had five temporary caps placed on her teeth after shattering those teeth in a horrific car accident we were in almost three years ago. One cap had fallen off yesterday evening and I was hoping she could be seen by her dentist and a new cap would be placed today. I called as soon as they opened and they were able to squeeze her in! The appointment lasted about one hour and then we were good to go. On the way to pick her up some lunch before she headed back to school I suddenly noticed how quiet she became. She was crying.
“I just want to have normal teeth. Why did this ever have to happen?”
My heart broke for her. Day in and day out this girl has so much to do in order to just keep functioning. Her disease is time consuming and it is stressful. The thought of her having added stress just kills me.
“Sweetheart, your teeth are beautiful. I understand it is not fair and I hate that you have to go through this.”
I then told her about a prayer I started saying a few weeks ago…
Please help me accept the things
that I cannot change.
I said that prayer to her, put my hand on her leg, and told her I loved her. Within seconds she was smiling and excitedly telling me a story about school.
I realize it appears that I always have my shit together but let me be transparent with you… I do not. Sure I do most of the time, but not always. Almost every day this past week I have teared up and/or flat out cried. Even the strongest of people break down and cry. It’s us strong ones that don’t stay in the tears. We pick ourselves back up and carry on with our lives feeling extremely blessed.
No, I am not depressed. I am passionate. I am passionate about so many things in this life. I cried when I heard the story about the Florida shooting because those who are affected are my brothers and sisters in Christ. I cried because there is so much evil in this world and I am so sad that not everyone has a deep relationship with the Lord. I cried because our 12 year daughter should not have to go through everything she goes through. I cried watching our 15 year old cry about how her sister motivates her. I cried out to GOD telling him “I know you see me Lord! I know you hear me! I am so grateful knowing you are never leaving my side!” My tears are an expression of love. I have so much love for GOD, my family, and for people.
The power of love and prayer are amazing. Showing and expressing to someone how much you love them can do incredible things. I hope as you are reading this you are thinking of ways you can do better at showing love to those who mean the most to you.
This life can be difficult. It can be down right mean. Love and prayer are what helps us get through those difficult times. Love and prayer.. such simple things that go such a long way.
I hope you enjoyed reading this blog. I have been through a lot in my 36 years. I enjoy sharing my story as I hope it can be of some help and/or some inspiration to you.