So most of my blogs have been about my breast implant illness and all of the positives that have resulted from getting my implants removed. They have been based on my facts, research I have done, and the great improvements I have seen in my health. Today I want to write about what I have not shared before… the grieving process.
One month ago I decided I was going to try on my bikini tops that I currently have at home. I had gone crazy buying bikinis last summer so I have a ton of swimsuits. Because there is such a size difference I knew I had to try on each one to see how they fit. Insert meltdown….
See, for over one decade I bought bikinis with no cups, no underwire, no padding. With breast implants who needs all of those things?! All I needed was a thin piece of material and I could call it good. No way in a million years would I have ever predicted my implants would ever be removed. I was going to be 100 years old all wrinkly with saggy skin but perky breasts! #goals 😂
I tried on 4 tops and my eyes began to water. The first top gave me a uniboob. Second top was way too large. I was excited initially with the third top until I bent over and the top hung off of me. The fourth one actually fit as I could pull the strings tighter, but it sure didn’t look the same as it did last summer. I started asking myself why I took my implants out?! Why? Why? Why?!
I texted my husband immediately while I was crying. My husband has been more supportive than I could have ever imagined. He told me it was okay to be pissed off and it was okay to be sad. For every situation I have been presented with these past few years he has been right there. From being a caregiver to a chaeuffer, a shoulder to lean and cry on to a somewhat deprived husband during my recoveries (😏 I say “somewhat” because I definitely get a gold star for being a trooper and getting creative… I’ll leave it at that!). He reminded me how poorly I was feeling prior to surgery and where I am at now. It is truly a night and day difference and apparently I needed to be reminded of that.
I was still having a mild pity party when it was time for me to go to bed. I opened my nightly devotional and it talked about God having a plan for all things. I immediately felt relieved. I know this is all of a part of my life story and in time this huge change won’t be anything but a memory.
They’re just boobs. Isn’t this a perfect opportunity to be a role model to my daughters by showing them how to love your natural self?! BINGO– it hit me. I have now been given this opportunity to do great things. I don’t need implants and I never did. I am able to show women that even through adversity and trials that you can come out on top. Scars are not ugly. They tell a story.
I am not saying there is anything wrong with plastic surgery, enhancements etc. I am not against it one bit. As for breast augmentation surgery, I do feel like the studies have been skewed tremendously and women are not being educated on the potential risks other than the short term surgical risks. The majority of studies done on breast implants are being done for the first 3-6 years after breast implant insertion. Shouldn’t there be long term studies?! I had mine for almost a decade before noticing any symptoms. I have spoken to women who have had the same breast implants in their body for over 20 years and continue to complain of weird symptoms that doctors cannot figure out. And now the FDA has linked cancer to implants! More and more women are taking a stand and choosing health over beauty.
Despite knowing I needed to take charge of my health and get those toxic bags out of my body I still have my moments of missing my implants. Will I experience this a couple of years from now? I am unsure. I would hope not. As my husband reminds me there is so much more to me then those implants.
Bikini sadness….. it is my current reality, but I think it’s more because of the change and not the implants themselves. Although I may look quite different than last summer I am going to embrace my new look. The perks of having smaller boobs…
- I no longer have to worry about falling out of my swimsuit tops. Fun Stacy fact: I was vacationing in Mexico a couple of years back with my husband and our friends. We were playing in the ocean and every wave that crashed against us took my top off. It was hilarious but also quite embarrassing. I finally was annoyed enough that I called it quits and got out of the water.
- Shirts look better and honestly some of the bikini tops I have found look better as well.
- Less boob sweat during a workout! 🙌🏼
- Sports bras aren’t as difficult to get on and off. Man, that was always a challenge!! Any large breasted woman who sweats while wearing a sports bra knows exactly what I am talking about!!
So if you are considering getting your breast implants removed and are scared of the aftermath I am here to tell you DO NOT BE!! I was petrified and I am MORE than pleased with my outcome!!
Change is not easy but it is worth it. I am kissing those implants goodbye! 💋💋